February 24th - Welcome to day 24 of the Myrrhmade Love Where You Are Challenge!
Come on in and join us!
Day 24: Reset Your Thermostat
We all have things we're used to experiencing in our lives, whether or not we like them. These patterns show up over and over again. While we often external circumstances responsible we are fortunately able to change our experience of them.
Similar to an oven or an icebox, we have our own internal cybernetic systems that guide us back to our own "normal."
If you're not thrilled with your normal, maybe it's time to reset your thermostat.
Maybe it's even time to upgrade your thermostat.
We set up our lives, consciously or no, to be consistent with who we think ourselves to be. In order to improve our lives, we need to improve what we think of ourselves.
Thoughts create emotions which drive our actions.
So how do we shift what we think of ourselves? Aside from intentionally practicing new thoughts until they become habit (deragatorily termed "fake it 'til you make it"), we can curate our environments to support a better self-concept, and we can also collect evidence of our own successes.
Henry Ford said "whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." If you focus on where you've done well, even without changing a thing but your focus, you can set yourself up to do better with future challenges.
You can focus on where you've fallen short of your own expectations or you can collect evidence for how you can do what needs to be done.
Look around yourself, you're surrounded by proof. Everything you have now is something you've been able to bring into your life. Use how far you've come as evidence of your ability to succeed.
What else helps you build proof of your own worth? Working toward a goal is a fantastic way to prove to yourself that you've got what it takes. Action is one of the best teachers and without things to strive for and to look forward to, many have a hard time feeling good and loving where they are.
Daily Challenge: Upgrade your self-talk.
Think of your ideal self and ask how they would think about this situation.
Will what you're dealing with now matter in five years?
Would a beloved friend talk to you about this the way you talk to yourself?
If you had to write down your thoughts would you edit them?
If you had to say your internal dialogue aloud to your 10 year old self, would you?
If no to any of these, you can do better.
Be kinder to yourself. You are worthy of being loved, by yourself especially.
If you're feeling stuck for direction in how to improve your self-talk, ask yourself better questions:
How do I want to feel? What thoughts can I practice to make it easier to feel those feelings?
How would the best version of me handle this?
What's the the best use of my time right now?
Daily Mindset Mantra: I can do hard things.
Look around. Once again, I'd bet you're surrounded by proof of what you're capable. Find your wins and celebrate them!
Bonus task: Make a list of things you're doing well.
You're doing better than you think.
There is so much to be grateful for and so much to celebrate. How can you add more moments of enjoyment to your time?
It's all too easy to cross off accomplishments like a checklist and move on to the next thing before we even savor what we've done. Stop, savor, enjoy, and celebrate wins of all sizes.
I had a bit of an epiphany this morning:
When you rush, what you skip are the parts that feel good.
It felt important so I made a pretty version of it.
(pictured in the background is an in-progress woodcut for my shop, Penny Bun Press!)
I had a bit of a melt-down last week, and let my thoughts run amok. I felt like a terrible mom and a worse house-keeper. My thoughts were telling me that I'm an awful person, a failure. Shame is a feeling that makes us feel as though we need to hide our struggles as shame cannot survive exposure. Shame dissolves in the face of facts and the truth.
I'm not a terrible mom and I'm doing amazingly well at so much.
If I focus on the gap between my expectations and my achievements, I may never feel good about myself. If I focus on what is going well, regardless of my plans, if I focus on what's great about this situation, I not only can find so much to celebrate, I set myself up for my celebrations in the future.
How are you shifting your self-talk? What are you finding to celebrate?
Make sure to check back here tomorrow for the next challenge, the next tips, and the next dose of the Myrrhmade Love Where You Are Challenge.