I don't remember how it came up, but a little over a month ago, C turned to me and asked "Mama? Are you a beautiful woman?"
This is one of those moments where I'm so grateful I was able to see the layers of what she was asking.
"Mama, if I grow up to be like you, will I be beautiful?"
Yes! My darling daughter, a huge resounding yes!
"Mama, I see you and think you're wonderful, am I right? Do you think you're wonderful too?"
"I watch you mama and I'm learning how to treat myself, especially when you're not going to be there to take care of me."
So here I am, eyes puffy, nighty and robe, at 5:30 in the morning after little sleep because one girl is cutting four molars simultaneously and the other needs sumpingtoeat after barely eating yesterday from a sudden low fever.
I'm here to announce, my darling girl, that Mama is indeed a beautiful woman.
I will do my best to banish the lump in my throat, fully live into the twenty-five extra pounds, and continue to try to embrace myself as I am, knowing that you are watching.